Saturday, October 22, 2011

QUERY CRITIQUE #10: THE FORCES OF HEAVEN AND HELL ALIKE


Dear Ms. Kaynak,

The demon Liam has been hiding a romantic relationship with the angel Mikael for centuries. When a battle for Heaven places them on opposing sides, Liam must decide if a victory for Hell is more important than losing the one being who taught him good and evil aren't easily defined.

This is an original premise, but be aware that romances with GLBT protagonists are very hard to sell, even in paranormal sub-genres.  

Liam enjoys being a demon. He gets to travel the Midwest on his motorcycle, chartering contracts for souls and feeding his addiction to coffee; a leftover need thanks to the body he now inhabits. He's got a right-hand man who follows his orders without question and who is more than happy to do most of the work on their assignments. This allows Liam to have more time for himself, and more importantly more time to spend with Mikael. Not even the minor annoyance of having to deal with archangel Gabriel's sworn vengeance can interrupt his life for too long.

Thus far, Gabriel's attacks have been weak and no real threat; more a source of mocking by Liam towards Heaven's less-than-competent solider. But now Heaven's in disarray, after God's gone AWOL, and Gabriel sees the opportunity to take the throne for himself. The death of Liam would surely prove his worth as a leader, so he takes a new approach to an old problem. The next soldier to go up against Liam will be trained by the best teacher in heaven—Mikael. Now the angel must decide how far he can go to protect Liam while serving Heaven, and Liam must save him from having to make the choice.

This query has a great sense of the conflict and the narrative voice.

THE FORCES OF HEAVEN AND HELL ALIKE is an 80,000 word completed urban fantasy which stands alone, but has series potential. After following your blog and the books of Spencer Hill Press this year, I feel that my novel would be of particular interest to you.

I am a member of the Works in Progress critique group, as well as a beta for the Book Country site, and have learned valuable information from both resources. I graduated from UNC-Chapel Hill in 2001 with a double minor in Religion and Creative Writing and have always been drawn to the interrelationship of the two.

My complete manuscript is available upon request. I can be reached through email at [EMAIL ADDRESS] or by phone at [PHONE NUMBER]. Thank you for your time and I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

If we published UF at Spencer Hill (since it's not YA, it's out of our scope), I'd request the full manuscript based on this query. It's unique, engaging, and shows your strength as a writer. Well done! 

3 comments:

KimberlyFDR said...

Thank you very much for the encouraging feedback! I'm hoping to start querying agents in early 2012 as I'm on my last (I think) revision based on critique comments, so it's always great to hear that my query letter is strong :)

Deniz Bevan said...

"He gets to travel the Midwest on his motorcycle, chartering contracts for souls and feeding his addiction to coffee" - ooh, now this would be fun!

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