Start polishing those unpublished manuscripts, because the 2011 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest will open on January 24th! Check out the details here: http://www.amazon.com/abna.
The first stage requires a 300 word pitch, and we all know how hard it is to capture the essence of a 60,000-100,000 word novel in a few sentences. So, here's what we can do:
Post your sample pitch as a comment to this post. It needs to include the title, the genre, the word count, and a pitch that's 300 words or less (don't count the title and genre, etc. in your word count). You can include your name or submit anonymously. Between now and the 23rd, I'll post the first 20* I receive and we'll comment, critique and otherwise help you make it sparkle.
* sorry to cap it, but I went nuts trying to keep up during the Great Query Contest last fall.
Let the pitching begin!
Title
Author Name (optional)
Genre
Word Count
Pitch (300 words or fewer)
35 comments:
I think I have an unfair advantage of being time zones ahead of most of your readers, but here goes...
Title: Swimming to Tokyo
Author: Brenda St John Brown
Genre: YA Contemporary
Word Count: 68,000
When Zosia Easton’s dad breaks the news he’s selling their house and taking a job in Tokyo, she insists she’s “fine” – just like he expects. Just like she always does. And in some ways, spending a summer in Tokyo before college is fine, especially when her high school crush, Liam Flanagan, is unexpectedly there too.
So what if they barely spoke back in New Jersey. Now they talk about everything as they explore the temples and tangled streets of Tokyo – her dead mother, his sketchy past and their growing feelings for each other. Yet, when Liam is suspected of a crime and even he admits he could have done it, Zosia realizes there’s a lot he hasn’t told her. And if he’s ever going to be more than the guy she spent one amazing summer with in Tokyo, she needs to hear it. Start to finish. Problem is, her father imposes 117 stupid rules to keep her from seeing Liam again. Which is so not fine.
SWIMMING TO TOKYO will appeal to fans of Sara Dessen and Julie Halpern.
Very helpful post.
Title: Trial of the Heart
Author Name: Erin
Genre: Women's Fiction
Word Count: 86,000
Emily Hennas hates the split-second of gratitude she felt for the drunk who stole the lives of her two oldest children. Because he also killed her scum-sucking bastard of a husband.
Her surviving son deserves a mother who'll stand up for him. And herself. So, how in the hell is she supposed to pull it together? A single finger salute to her dead husband, and she resurrects the career he forbade. Needing more complications in her life, she risks love with a new man who’s hell bent on helping her move on. Oh, and if that isn’t enough--the drunk driver wants her support for a plea bargain that will allow him to stay home while he dies from cancer.
Emily wishes him a speedy trip to hell … with a quick stop to pick up her husband. Although, she can’t help but wonder if she doesn’t belong there as well. The killer of her children is also her savior—and that’s damn hard to live with. Until she can find peace within herself, she has no hope of moving on.
Title The Glimpse
Author Name Claire Vinson Merle
Genre YA dystopia
Word Count 89,000 words
Seventeen-year-old Ana Barber’s geneticist father faked her DNA tests to get her into The Community—a safe haven from all the crazies in the city. Ana is really a sleeper, which means one day she’ll go psycho, or schizo, or probably just suicidal like her Mum. Now the authorities know the truth, and the only thing standing between her and banishment to the city is her romance with Jasper Taurell. Jasper, a rich boy from an influential Community family, wants to Join with her despite her genetic defects. When the media elevates the pair to a modern day Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers battling against the rules to let True Love run its course, the authorities end up bending to public pressure. Ana is allowed to remain in the Community on one condition: she and Jasper must be Joined before her eighteenth birthday. It's more than she could have hoped for. Things are looking up for once, but then four weeks before their Joining, Jasper is abducted.
Ana sneaks out of her well-guarded Community to find him. In the city, nothing is what it seems. She discovers her fiancé hasn’t been abducted by crazies. The authorities have incarcerated him in a psychiatric dump for attempting to prove there's nothing genetically messed up with any of the country's population. Determined to get to the truth, she has herself committed alongside Jasper. But thanks to his electric shock therapy, he barely remembers her, and the psychs turn out to be more wacko than the patients. Trapped in the loony dump, exile is looking rather preferable to what the doctors have planned. She must find a way to fight back and expose the truth, before they drive her crazy—for real.
Keep 'em coming! I still have 17 slots left.
Thanks so much for doing this, Bear!
Title: GHOST CRAB
Author Name: R. King Kollman
Genre: Thriller
Word Count: 100,000
Latina lawyer Gianne Noble's specialty is high-profile murder, not missing persons. But she can't say no when the wife of the marine biologist who berths his boat in the slip next to hers begs for help. Gianne learns he disappeared the day the Deep Blue Rig blew, killed ten men, and spewed the second largest environmental catastrophe ever across the Gulf of Mexico. Yet he isn't listed among the dead. His wife and children get no insurance, no benefits, no answers.
Through the biologist's computer records, Gianne discovers that his life's work was studying the effects of the largest oil spill in the Gulf, twenty years before. That first disaster was an accident, but the scientist believed it cascaded into the extinction of a species of crab critical to the Gulf ecosystem. When he tried to convince anyone who would listen that the way drilling platforms are run needed to change to prevent another inevitable spill, no one paid any attention, and he only made himself an unwelcome crank everywhere he went. So to prove the biologist died on the rig and get needed benefits to his family, Gianne first must untangle an identity creation, not an identity theft, a complex alter ego the biologist fabricated to gain access to the rig to complete his data. Then she has to figure out which role he was playing when he died--scientist, ecoterrorist, or murder victim--before she disappears into the middle of the deep blue Gulf herself. And it will be no accident.
Duality
Author: Catherine Peace
Genre: Science Fiction
Word Count: 113,000
Subject 31, the Humani Project’s latest experiment believes she’s human, but after seeing her sleek black fur, claws, and tail, she’s not so sure. Her only clue to an existence before panther DNA was spliced to hers is a fragment of a memory and a name—Janelle.
According to the scientists, she's the perfect blend of human and animal. Most importantly, she can still speak, making her the lab's most successful Humani to date.
Imprisoned in the Phoenix, Arizona lab, 31 must complete the grueling, and sometimes deadly, physical assessments administered by resident asshole Dr. Frederick James. Her failure means immediate termination. To survive, she must tame the wild animal that wants to take over—only she has no idea how. That ability wasn’t coded in her new DNA.
When she fails an assessment, death looms in the form of the lab-made creature she was supposed to kill. She’s surprised that the project's founder breaks his own protocol to save her without hesitation. When he calls her “Janelle,” 31 understands that somehow the scientists have erased the existence of someone they knew. Someone who deserves to understand her fate.
The closer she gets to piecing together her past, the harder she has to fight to stay alive. Buried in her past is knowledge that could bring the Project to its knees, and Dr. James will do anything to protect the Project, even if it means killing its greatest success.
When seventeen-year-old Meredith’s father dies, it feels like a part of her is buried with him. Forever. Then she meets Kaden. They spend hours together, talking, laughing, even enjoying the silence that can accompany holding hands or a gentle kiss. He makes sure she eats, gets enough sleep and smiles at least once a day. Meredith begins to share memories of her dad with him.
Sometimes, though, he is not the same Kaden. He snaps because she’s late. He's pushed and shaken her. He's even struck her. She wants to hold onto him, and doesn’t want to fall back into the darkness that gripped her after her Dad died. She tries to tell herself that the abuse is worth the hope he brings, fearing that if she leaves Kaden everything will fall apart again.
FRACTURED is a 58,000-word contemporary YA novel. It will appeal to readers of Cupala’s Tell me a Secret and Dessen’s Dreamland.
Title: The Demon Vow
Author: Rachel Hert
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 71,000
The demon within sixteen-year-old Zade was meant to merge with his human half and become one. But when his training goes terribly wrong and he accidentally kills his master it leaves him utterly alone, and his two halves fighting for control.
Riddled with guilt, Zade takes up his masters duties: Protecting the Hindori and the demon gate from Vrieg, the worst demonic criminal in history.
As the battles with Vrieg’s armies intensify Zade finds his hold on the demon within slipping. Terrified it will break free and kill everyone, Zade trains his two best friends to harness their energy and use it. At least if the demon gets loose the Hindori will have a chance. That is if they can keep Vrieg away from the demon gate, because if he gets to that not a soul on either side will survive.
Title: Letters To My Mother
Author: Rebecca Heath
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 99,800
“You know, I never eat young ladies on Fridays. Only on Tuesdays.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “Do I look that apprehensive?”
“Yes, rather.” He opened the door for me. “But I have just the cure for you. It’s David Rosenau’s patented shyness remedy, strawberry shortcake garnished with whipped cream, to be taken at least once weekly in charming company. Doctor’s orders.”
Kate is a college junior, a gifted student who skipped two grades in school, a naval officer's daughter who's lived in more places than she can remember. Shy and bookish, she's never had a boyfriend, let alone been kissed or gone on a date. Kate thinks falling in love is something that only happens to other girls.
David is a college professor, a sailor, a renowned biochemist who’s trapped in a failed marriage; aloof and reclusive, he buries himself in teaching and research. David's convinced he'll go through life with an empty heart.
When Kate gets a campus job as David's typist, they discover they're both mistaken.
Set in 1950s Seattle, Letters To My Mother is a May-December romance novel.
Title: THE CANDLE DARK WICKED
Autor: DMcWild
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 85,000
With her Grandma card counting in Vegas, sixteen-year-old Teagan returns from visiting her twin sister Ryanne in the hospital with a key she hopes will unlock a mystery surrounding Grandma’s study. Inside the forbidden room, moth eaten ventriloquist puppets with only half their faces still painted on teleport Teagan to the Island of Candleflora--where the not so dumb dummies come alive. Chased by puppet Trolls dressed in cheap fur coats, but expensive Donald Trump wigs, her rescue’s aided by Thomas, protector of the Candle Light Realm who recognizes Teagan as his sovereign princess. Teagan’s shocked because his Queen happens to be Grandma and she’s not playing blackjack, she’s on a torturer’s rack, courtesy of the Candle Dark Empire and their Princess--Ryanne, who nine years earlier Teagan found in Grandma’s study--comatose with a puppet on her hand.
The sibling’s armies go to war, wearing magical puppets called hand guides which allow them to transform into different animals, warriors and fantasy creatures. Ryanne steals Grandma’s secret hand guide depository of WMDs (Wickedly Massive Dragons), shifting the balance of power. The situation turns desperate when Teagan discovers their common enemy, the cannibalistic Bone Cutters, are planning to attack. Now to save Grandma from biting into an apple and being presented on good bone china, Teagan needs to unite Candleflora. She must either surrender her throne to Ryanne--or visit the sleeping beauty at her bedside for a lights out winner take all pillow fight.
A great idea Kate! I wish I could participate but, while I've got a synopsis, it's not been distilled down to pitch form yet.
Just finished reading Legacy the other day - I loved it! That night I had a dream that you were working in shoe store and we were speaking in Turkish. Say what?
Anyway, I was just wondering - did you name Blake House after the one at the American College in Izmir? My mother was a student there in the 60s, and she sent me this link the other day:
http://www.schooltube.com/video/09b2d2cd11104ab997ae/American-Collegiate-Institute
Forgive my newbieness but is this where I should post my pitch?
Thanks
I hope I'm posting this in the right place.
Title: Angelina's Secret
Author Name: Lisa Rogers
Genre: YA
Word Count: 60,000
As a child, Angelina spent years in counseling learning that Josie, her imaginary friend, wasn’t real. Now at age seventeen she discovers her childhood friend wasn’t imaginary after all.
As if trying to lead her cheerleading squad to a state championship, breaking up with a boyfriend, and watching her brother move away to college, isn’t enough to deal with, now Angelina has to accept she’s either (A) crazy or (B) able to see ghosts. Wanting to believe in her sanity, she chooses (B) and welcomes Josie back into her life. With Josie’s return, Angelina learns to understand her ability, but even Josie can't help her deal with Shelly, the spirit of a confused teenager.
Unknown to Angelina, Shelly, intent on having her day in the spotlight, influences her as she tries to choreograph a cheer routine for the state finals. When Angelina can’t explain how she came to know the unrevealed routine of a dead cheerleader, things go very wrong and she finds herself admitted into a psychiatric hospital for evaluation.
Discovering her gift isn’t as unusual as she once thought, Angelina knows she can spend the rest of her life pretending to be someone she isn’t or she can embrace who she is and take a chance that she may never get to go home.
ANGELINA'S SECRET, a novel for young adults, addresses the pressures of surviving high school while learning to accept who you are.
Hi Lisa--Yes, this is the right place! Welcome!
Deniz--I'm so glad you enjoyed LEGACY! Actually, Blake House is called that because I set Ganzfield in a real place in New Hampshire and "Blake" is derived from the actual name of the family that lives there. Ve hangi numara ayakkabı giyiyorsunuz? :)
I still have about half of the spots left, folks, so feel free to post!
Title: Cages
Genre: Adult Fiction
Word Count: 88,000
I just drafted my first attempt, but would love any feedback:
“Childhood, like history, is immortal. And memories, even unconscious ones, follow us like shadows.”
-Character of Diego Rivera,in Cages
18-year old SABINE likes her life just the way it is—bohemian, simple, and relaxed—until the night she decides to steal someone else’s mail. This one reckless act turns Sabine’s life on its head and snaps/lands her into a vault of secrets her mother has gone to great lengths to hide from her.
Inside the vault is a manuscript that opens in 1937 during some of the darkest days of the Spanish Civil War. It is on the eve of Hitler’s bombing raid of Guernica in a schoolyard where two children, Carlos and Solita, are being bullied into an early marriage. Then the bombs drop.
Sabine slams the manuscript shut sick about living in a world that keeps bombing the shit out of cities with no regard for innocent lives. The lure of Diego Rivera and her own mother narrating parts of the manuscript is difficult to resist. But what Sabine also gleams in its pages and the one thing she cannot let go of is the hope of tracking down her father’s identity.
Cages is a trio of interwoven tales that blends history with fiction, but, above all, it is an affirmation of the power of compassion. It is a subtle challenge to probe beyond the surface of those whose lives appear different or removed from our own. As characters struggle with the cages they’ve either created or inherited that relate back to their childhood some will remain trapped and others will escape.
Whether the events that wound us are of the schoolyard variety, like bullying, or vastly-themed ones like war, even those of us who survive are stained forever.
This novel will beg you to look at your own wounds—and cages—and to start opening doors.
I keep going over and over my pitch, trying to perfect it, but I just realised, that's what this critique is *for* - to help me!
So I'm putting it out there...
Title: Out of the Water
Author: Deniz Bevan
Genre: Historical romance, set in 1492
Word Count: 100,000
Rosa's always been a dutiful daughter. Though she doesn't agree with her father's choice to comply with the royal Edict of Expulsion and leave the kingdom of Spain, she says nothing out loud. Yet after an accident in the mountains separates her from her family, she has to begin making decisions for herself. And that's when everything starts going wrong.
Taken in by a group of Cistercian monks, she travels to the southern town from where Columbus is due to sail, along with his sailing master Santiago, a friend of her parents. She hopes he can help her book passage on a ship to Constantinople, to reunite with her family. Instead of which, Santiago uses their few moments together to confess that he is her father. Before she has time to come to terms with this revelation, Rosa is captured by the Inquisition.
She escapes, only to run straight into another man. He will hurt her as well, she believes, but she has misjudged him. Baha, a Muslim from the Ottoman Empire, becomes her guide on the long journey to Constantinople and, soon enough, comes to mean much more. Rosa and Baha are wedded at one of the last ports before their ship arrives at Constantinople, and now Rosa can begin to carve out a new identity for herself. Yet another sceptre soon falls over her life; Baha becomes ill. Will she lose the love she so unexpectedly found? And then Santiago arrives in the city, though their reunion is cut short by his arrest at the hands of the Sultan's Grand Vizier. Rosa is the only one that can rescue them all, and knit the disjointed threads of her identity to become whole once more.
I keep going over and over my pitch, trying to perfect it, but I just realised, that's what this critique is *for* - to help me!
So I'm putting it out there...
Title: Out of the Water
Author: Deniz Bevan
Genre: Historical romance, set in 1492
Word Count: 100,000
Rosa's always been a dutiful daughter. Though she doesn't agree with her father's choice to comply with the royal Edict of Expulsion and leave the kingdom of Spain, she says nothing out loud. Yet after an accident in the mountains separates her from her family, she has to begin making decisions for herself. And that's when everything starts going wrong.
Taken in by a group of Cistercian monks, she travels to the southern town from where Columbus is due to sail, along with his sailing master Santiago, a friend of her parents. She hopes he can help her book passage on a ship to Constantinople, to reunite with her family. Instead of which, Santiago uses their few moments together to confess that he is her father. Before she has time to come to terms with this revelation, Rosa is captured by the Inquisition.
She escapes, only to run straight into another man. He will hurt her as well, she believes, but she has misjudged him. Baha, a Muslim from the Ottoman Empire, becomes her guide on the long journey to Constantinople and, soon enough, comes to mean much more. Rosa and Baha are wedded at one of the last ports before their ship arrives at Constantinople, and now Rosa can begin to carve out a new identity for herself. Yet another sceptre soon falls over her life; Baha becomes ill. Will she lose the love she so unexpectedly found? And then Santiago arrives in the city, though their reunion is cut short by his arrest at the hands of the Sultan's Grand Vizier. Rosa is the only one that can rescue them all, and knit the disjointed threads of her identity to become whole once more.
Sorry, didn't mean to post twice - Google kept giving me an error message.
No problem, Deniz.
Hi everyone: we have eight more spots as of this post, so keep 'em coming!
Title: Wicked Game
Author: Chris Fielden
Genre: Thriller
Word Count: 70,000
Thirteen years ago, Jack Fox tried to exit the criminal organisation he worked for. Leaving proved impossible. He was framed for murder and imprisoned.
On the day he is released from prison, Jack is drawn back to Moonlight Alley to face his past. Men in balaclavas are waiting in the shadows. They attack, knocking Jack senseless.
Waking in a derelict warehouse, Jack finds he is a hostage at the mercy of terrorists. He isn’t alone. Six other people share his predicament. The terrorists swear to kill one hostage each day until the government meet their demands.
Every night a hostage is escorted from the warehouse. The lights are turned off before the silence is broken by the loud crack of a single gunshot. Jack finds the stress of the situation makes his temper increasingly hard to control.
One of the other hostages behaves in a lecherous manner towards the female captives. Jack develops a hatred for this man. In a rage, Jack kills the other hostage, breaks out of the warehouse and finds himself in a television studio. He has unknowingly been a contestant in a reality TV game show. None of the contestants are dead, apart from the man Jack killed.
Jack is taken back into police custody. As he is escorted from the TV studio a gunfight erupts. Jack is abducted by the criminal organisation he used to work for. They are planning to detonate a nuclear device in London and intend to frame Jack.
Fighting to control his aggression, Jack escapes and helps police capture the criminal organisation’s leader. The terrorist plot is thwarted. Rather than going to jail, Jack is offered a job working undercover for the police. He accepts, hoping to change his life for the better.
I'm not sure if you have 20 yet, but here's mine in case you don't.
Title: POINT OF OBLIVION
Author Name: Jordan Mierek
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 75,000
Seventeen-year-old Lock becomes the Record Keeper’s assistant when Archer, her best friend and secret crush, invites her to the Realm, a parallel universe. The Record Keeper must use the Pen of Truth, a magical stylus that, when pressed to paper, automatically writes the major events happening in the Realm.
Sick of living with a cruel uncle since her parents died, Lock is thrilled by the new life the Realm offers - the joy quickly fades when Lock discovers how the natives suffer beneath the heartless hand of the Usurper King. While Archer tries to help the natives rebuild their overtaxed homes, Lock uses the Pen of Truth, shocked at the dark truths revealed. The King is actually her uncle and her parents are not dead, but trapped by him so they cannot claim the throne. Furious with Lock when she tries to free her parents, the king kidnaps Archer. To save her family and Archer, Lock must follow the Pen’s cryptic plan to find the Realm’s lost heir and stage a rebellion, even though it means assassinating her uncle and sacrificing her love for Archer by joining the prince.
Title: Dark Visions
Author: Rachel Hert
Word Count: 99,000
After Aaron failed the Ordeal – the final test to become a magician – he lost everything he ever held dear.
Abandoned by the people he once thought loved him and clinging to the edge of sanity, twenty-five-year-old Aaron forsakes magic entirely. But when magic begins to fade from the world, his father tracks Aaron down, and forces him to learn to control his gift of foresight. As Aaron’s visions intensify, they reveal a war that will wipe all magic from the planet, including the last living wizard... his grandfather.
Every effort Aaron makes to change the future only leads him closer to the wars that loom on the horizon. Somehow he must find a way to stop them – but that means embracing his birthright, facing a dragon he fears may devour him, and becoming a wizard himself.
Great. More magic. Just what he didn’t want.
Five spots left! Thanks everyone for posting!
Title: The Night
Author: Amanda Kurka
Genre: YA Epic Fantasy
Word Count: 115,000
Fifteen-year-old Aerael lives an ordinary life, for a world ruled by magic and false gods.
But when the man forcing her into marriage threatens her life, a voice whispers into her mind, saying it can help her, if she'll let it in. With no choice but to allow it control, she opens her mind to it, and the voice chants in the language of magic, seizing upon a power deep within her to eliminate the danger. She runs, knowing that when her would-be suitor awakes, he'll have her executed for illegal magic, if his magicians, the dreaded Varloi, can catch her.
While leaving the city she's known all her life, Aerael runs into a strange being named Siri, who informs her that the power she possesses is something called maijic of the night. A pure, good power, and a gift, it is the opposite of magic, which requires the payment of a soul. Aerael tells Siri that she can take the powers and the controlling voice, as she'd rather have her old life back--but the maijic cannot be returned, and Siri says there should be no voice. Aerael is told to go to Siri's people, where she can learn to use her maijic, if she can get there.
The Varloi learn the peculiar nature of her powers, and are ordered to bring her to the capital for questioning. Assigned to the task is the prince, who terrifies most with his volatile power over fire and harbors a grave secret. So Aerael sets off, accompanied by friends and pursued by the law, and comes to know more about her maijic…and the catastrophic consequences attached. She will either overthrow the corrupt rule of the false gods, or tighten their hold forever.
Okay, since I posted my pitch The Demon Vow here I've been working on it, and changed it quite a bit. I was just wondering if I could repost and have you nix the first one and look at the second?
Oh I do hope we can repost - mine's changed too!
As for reposting, if I haven't already done the critique, you can email me an update at kate at katekaynak dot com. If I've already done the critique, you can repost it here, and I'll re-critique if we have slots at the end. Fair deal?
Thanks Kate!
If you're going in order I guess I'm next. I sent an update to your email. Thanks.
Title: Born To Die.
Genre: Science-fiction.
Word Count: 66,000 words.
Author: Stephanie S.
Genetically engineered gladiator Axia was programmed with one motto: kick ass and don’t ask questions. Created to fight in the decadent System’s blood-drenched arenas, she lives one fight at a time. When she wins a freedom she never expected, she discovers her genes were manipulated beyond The System’s rules, making her an illegal specimen.
Threatened to be eliminated by The System, she flees through the Uncharted Territories. Her choices are limited: remaining a fugitive or facing the past engraved in her genes, even if it means being killed or killing once again.
BORN TO DIE is a 66,000 word science-fiction novel that recently won the 5th GLA Dear Lucky Agent contest. It could well be described as GIRL IN THE ARENA by Lise Haines meets BLADE DANCER by S.L. Viehl. It will appeal to readers who enjoy action-packed adventures featuring a strong female protagonist.
Does anyone know the guideline for including another text, such as a newspaper article, within your story?
The responses vary amongst copy editors and/or book designers, but the basic meat of their answers was the same:
Block-indent the quoted passages by a half-inch.
Can anyone confirm that this applies to the Amazon competition also?
Thanks,
Dina
Dina, be very careful using other people's work without permission, since you can be sued for copyright infringement.
For out of copyright stuff and works with permission, the block indent works.
Yay! I'm done! I have one resubmit I'll post on Monday. Thanks for taking part, everyone!
Thanks again, Kate.
FYI, my 'newspaper article' is full-on fictitious. I'll use the indent.
Congrats on getting through all submitted pitches & good luck to everyone!
Dina
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